There came a time in my spiritual development where my guidance was that I had to accept “Divine Perfection” in order to keep evolving. I went through several months of integrating this concept. In every meditation, I would be taken back through my life history and see the challenging things in my journey that still had an emotional charge for me. I would rise above the experience to a higher level of consciousness and look down on it as it was unfolding. I could see the ripples of every trauma or tragedy and how they were serving me and my awakening. The challenges inspired the development of greater gifts and strengths inside of me. Sometimes they changed the direction of my path and where I was heading. I was shown repeatedly that everything happens for a reason and it is all serving us to keep growing and evolving. If we use the challenges the right way, we ascend into a higher frequency, if we don’t, we stay there and attract another opportunity.
After weeks of doing this, I had pretty much cleared my whole life history and was at total peace with every event. Then I was standing at the grocery check out and I noticed a magazine that was a special edition “100 Photographs That Changed the World.” I glanced at the cover and looked away quickly because the pictures were horrific. There was one of a mass grave at the Holocaust and another of two young black man hanging from a tree in Mississippi with white people cheering underneath their dangling bodies. There was also one of a small child in Africa, curled up in a ball, just skin and bones, starving to death. Standing behind her was a huge looming black vulture. My heart ached. I could not look back at the magazine but then I heard my Soul speak to me and say: “buy the magazine.” No way, I thought. I am not subjecting my consciousness to such darkness. Then I heard it again; “buy the magazine.” Urggh, I groaned. Okay, I will buy it. I already knew what I was being asked to do but how could I possibly see the Divine Perfection in these heart breaking scenes?
I sat in my car in the grocery store parking lot and opened the magazine. I saw pictures of war zones; nuclear bombs exploding, mass logging; killing our trees, and then the Massacre at Wounded Knee. Tears began to stream down my cheeks. How can humanity be so unconscious and cruel to each other?
I brought the magazine home and over the next few weeks, I would meditate with each photograph and go out of my body up to a higher dimension and look down at the experience. I was able to see the Divine Perfection in each event, no matter how tragic. I realized that they served us to evolve, to put new laws in place protecting, providing, prohibiting some of these things from happening again. They allowed Souls to play out different roles, healing karma, expanding virtue, evolving consciousness. The hardest pictures for me where the ones with innocent children. Then I was shown that each person who comes to the earth plane chooses their life journey and no matter the age of that person, there is always an infinite Soul guiding. Who am I to say what is best for another soul to experience in its evolutionary process? I must allow all to unfold for that Soul as it is planning.
The Soul chooses challenging lifetimes for many reasons; to cultivate compassion, forgiveness, understanding, humility. Sometimes it is in hopes that we will rise above the diversity and make a difference for the earth and humanity. Sometimes when we view another person’s life, we see it differently than the person experiencing it. Eckhart Tolle talks about this when he was homeless and sitting on a park bench in complete nirvana and bliss but people felt sorry for him. He felt sorry for them that they were so distracted in life that they could not feel what he was feeling once all distraction was gone.
I realized that the earth is a place of duality where we as souls come to experience CONTRAST. The shadow has always existed and taken many forms, it will always be part of the dualistic experience. To transcend the suffering of duality, we have to stop fighting the darkness and accept its role as teacher and mirror for us. Once we stop resisting the shadow and we embrace it, we can evolve beyond the dualistic view that keeps us suffering and come into true understanding. Then when we see the shadow energies occurring, we have the knowing it is serving and we can respond differently. We can work with the shadow energies to see the blessings and growth opportunities.
I finally finished the magazine and my heart was so liberated and free. It felt like I had transcended the pendulum swing of duality and was no longer seeing things from a good/bad, right/wrong perception anymore. I had moved beyond duality and anchored more fully in Oneness. I had the Knowing that IT IS ALL SERVING to do this. The shadow is serving to help us raise our consciousness back into Oneness. :)
I reflected back years ago when I had become very consumed with fighting the pharmaceutical companies. I had been angry, frustrated and filled with hatred for days while I was researching all of the corruption between the FDA, Monstonto, ChemTrails, the Supreme Court and Congress. My Soul spoke to me at that time and showed me that throughout history, the shadow energies have taken so many different forms of corruption and injustice, but if we lower our frequency with hatred and anger, we become part of that energy and we are contributing to the shadow on the planet rather than the light. Soul told me that our personal frequency is the most powerful thing that we have to contribute to peace on the planet and that we must govern ourselves so that at no cost we lose that inner peace, because if we do, we have already lost everything. I put my research away and started sending love and light to those organizations, my vibration shifted and I felt I lifted the collective frequency instead of dampening it.
After finishing the magazine, it was time for my annual trek to the Caribbean. I go down every year for a few weeks and work with the UU Church and the Ananda Nilayam Community. The days preceding the trip everything started falling apart. There were misunderstandings, mis-communication, my events were mistakenly planned during the major Carnival Festival. The gals who usually organize and host my events both were in great cycles of change and upheaval in their own lives. I arrived at the airport to canceled flights. After many delays, I was on a layover when I received word that the car I usually use, that belongs to the church, had just been wrecked and could not be repaired. There was nowhere to get a rental on any island during Carnival. When I finally got to the island and arrived at the church apartment there was a gas leak, I was unable unable to move in, unpack or rest after such long weary travels. By then, I was frustrated and frazzeled.
I sunk down against the trunk of a tree and wondered, how am I ever going to be in shape to speak about something inspirational at Sunday’s service feeling like this? I heard my Soul chuckling, and then it said to me; “well, you were pretty good at seeing Divine Perfection in hindsight through your life and world history, but how about right now, in this moment? You have accepted things like your brothers murder and genocide. Are travel delays and minor inconveniences really so hard to accept that they too are Divinely Perfect? I bolted up out of my body and looked down at everything but I could not see the ripples yet. Soul laughed again, and said; “oh yes, that is one of the gifts of hindsight, the ripples are obvious but it’s not like that in the now-moment, you must just TRUST. If everything has always been and will always be Divinely Perfect and serving you to keep growing and evolving then this must be as well. So, relax, take a deep breath and accept everything without resistance. And, at least now you know what you can speak about at the church service… how Divinely Perfect life is, always.” :)
And it was true, over the next few days, everything that seemed to be such an inconvenience turned out to be blessings. I am grateful I did not spend any more time resisting the Divine Flow. I surrendered and just kept reminding myself it was perfect or it wouldn’t be happening. I kept looking in a positive way for the opportunity and blessings to arrive. It took me to a whole new level of trusting and opening to the Divine Perfection inside of myself and in everything that is unfolding. And so it is for all of us, always. In this, we can rest in peace.